Archive for the ‘David Carradine’ Category

Future force with David Carradine : the worst movie of all time !

October 5, 2009 4 comments


Future force with David Carradine from Kill Bill fame is quite possibly the worst movie I’ve ever seen but also the funniest. Here is a summary of this crappy b-movie. Well, first of all, it’s supposed to take place in the future, David Carradine is a tough guy on a tough beat, he’s the best of America’s bounty hunters. What sets him apart from all the others? First off, the man is indestructible, his enemies empty shotguns several times over at point blank range and nothing happens. Helicopters with snipers firing assault rifles, thugs wielding 2X4s, nothing can stop him. Just when you think he’s beat, the man pulls a flying, remote control, crotch smashing, robotic glove of death out of his ass. Complimenting all this brawn is Billy’s brain, a techno geek in wheelchair that informs Tucker with a computer that looks like a Commodore 64. Tucker’s a good C.O.P. (Civilian operated police) you must understand, he doesn’t care about payoffs, just getting the job done right. Problem is, Mr. Adams (The Mob dude who runs everything) doesn’t like straight cops.

Things to look out in the movie :

* Hiding out in your very recognizable SUV on a deserted street doesn’t work..
* The actors are so bad : DC Douglas who plays Billy even apologized for acting in this piece of crap on a b-movie board :
except for Carradine, no other actor in FF performed in movies beyond 1997.
* Mullets or coupes Longueuil : lots and lots of them in Future force 😉
* When shoot by Becker, crippled Billy suddenly regains uses of his legs..!
* An helicopter that explodes but looks like a fake model
* Terrible one liners : “You’ve committed a crime. You’re presumed guilty until proven innocent. You have the right to die”. (Did Ross Perot win an election or what ?)
* Tough guys all drive 4X4s
* Watch out for the remote control on the robotic glove : it’s deadly !
* Jeeps are bulletproof : no matter how often you shoot at them, Tucker dodges bullets like Jesus Christ !

94e551c88da0b9458d0b1210.L[1]I was really sad to see David died last june. I wanted to personnally thank him for that gem of a b-movie as he acted as one of the co-producers. Everything in this absolute classic cheesy movie is BEYOND bad : the acting, the special effects, the clothes, the music, and so on. Even the Jeeps are damn ugly. While they try to convice us the movie takes place in the future, this flick looks like a poor man version of Chips.  It looks like fucking 1968, except this was filmed in 1990. It’s one of those movies that goes straight to VHS. Now here is the story : back in 2003, I managed to get a copy of this “film” on VHS for like 2 $. Kill Bill was out and I was like hell yeah an underground movie from David ! Expecting kung-fu action movie, I’d laugh my ass off…The opening sequence has Carradine arresting bad guys with his crotch gloves. Then, as they try to run towards Carradine the car is approximately 20 feet from Tucker and 1 min later it’s even further as if the cameraman couldn’t film close up ! Pretty much sets the tone for the entire film…I’ve never laugh so hard in my life.  What’s worse, the bald guy named Becker, who used to be Mr Clean on TV add, the horrible jean jacket with a patch weared by David, the techno geek Billy in wheelchair, the other bad guy who looks like porn stud Tom Byron, Roxanne who looks like a mutant from Total recall, the robotic glove who “helps” Tucker (Carradine), Marion, the female reporter who, in her mid twenties, has suddenly a crush on Tucker, a 50 year old belly beer (who looks drunk in the movie) cold hearted policeman that upholds the law without mercy…..ouch !!! And it’s just a start. There’s also a priest gang lord who seem to thrive on breaking the law. By now you’ve got to wonder why bother ? Cause it’s got Carradine starring in the movie of course 🙂 But also because it’s one of the funniest movie I’ve ever seen. Plain and simple. Thanks David !

P.S. : There is also a sequel to Future Force : John Tucker’s son travels back in time 30 years to save his father from being killed by thugs he is currently pursuing back in 1990…

Categories: David Carradine, Movies
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